Planning my Meals

I have been a thick girl pretty much all of my life but I don't have one of those sob stories that you hear all too often.  I've had lots of boyfriends and too many husbands for a girl my age.  I wasn't teased and tormented.  I was never afraid to be in front of a crowd - in fact, that is probably where I've always felt most comfortable.  I dunno... I've always been pretty fierce, even if just in my own head.  With all of this fabulocity, I still struggle with food. And I hate it.

Yes, I am a gastric bypass patient.  I had surgery two years ago in December of 2008.  I lost a total of about 160 pounds depending on when you start counting. I worked harder for those first 40 pounds than any of the others so I count them too.   I am trying really hard though to not let that define me.  Now, this is a judgement-free zone (at least for this post).  To each his own, right.... but I have never been the girl who subscribed to the protein shakes or bars or any of that stuff.  I had this surgery so that I could learn to have a healthy relationship with the very thing that was trying to kill me.   Alcoholics can stay out of the bar.  Food addicts, well,  you still need that to survive.  It is a vicious cycle.  I want to love my food and I want it to love me back.

I don't know how many times I have stood in front of the fridge with the door open  - going back and forth on what to eat.  "Well, I could make this... or THIS.... or, OOOO!  This sounds great!"  Unfortunately, "this" is almost always something fried, fatty or sugary. The guilt would get to me or I would just get tired of trying to decide and eventually just say screw it and end up at a Chinese buffet or with a pizza and that, my friends NEVER ends well.   To combat this, I started making a menu.  I sit down once a week with my cookbooks, or the innertoobz or old menus and craft out what I want to eat this week.  I always throw in an extra meal and I don't assign days.  I  just pick one until there are no more to pick.  I would love to say that I do this each and every Sunday but with a schedule like mine,  uhm, yeah... that's not gonna happen.  I do it when I get a day off and make the grocery list from that menu. 

I'm not saying that this is fool-proof but it definitely makes my life simpler.  Anything to cut down on the "What do you wanna eat?" fight with the significant other is a plus in my book.